The How do I feel about the phrase "I am not here to decorate you world" ramble:

I believed this motto when I first heard it; it was my mantra for prolly a few months. I am a loner-type, an introvert who wears darkish clothing, has tattoos & piercings (though not all visible) listens to emo, hard rock and rock alternative, prefers books and small intimate crowds. I wanted validation from the outside world on my existence, that I am indeed not here for anyone but me, and "my people" and this seemed like decent, albeit selfish, rationale.

I am going to school for psychology. Over the course of my life, I have read & researched, watched documentaries and history channel movies about literally anything and nothing, spent hours talking to people different than me-strangers in indie coffee shops, in the market, online in the various and WIDE array of boards of which I am a member and it just makes sense to me, along with my upbringing to enter the psychology field. There are so many possibilities with research, it's not all Freudian psychoanalogy and couch talk. The brain is a sea.

Looking back at my life as a child-I've always enjoyed humanity, despite feeling distant from it. In middle school, I tested on the Meyers-Briggs as an INFJ. Again in college, I tested as an INFJ. My whole 24 year existence I've been what MB's describes as "a body guard; set apart but belonging to and feeling responsible for" the planet as A WHOLE.

Like the person who keeps parking in *my* apartment number's spot. Yep, seven weeks, two hand written notes and one complaint to the manager later, the same idiot keeps parking in *my* spot.

And as much as I complain about this idiot's *cough* I mean, this person's existance, they are a part of my world. Perhaps she has a daughter who is a girl scout. Maybe he plays the guitar and barbeques on weekends. The person might be married, or old and retired. He/she could have a stamp collection, gun collection, work in the receiving area of a hospital, or drink espresso in the morning. The person could be a tattoo artist, website designer, stay-at-home-mom, movie theatre hopper, high school drop out, someone on probation, music guru, advocate of To Write Love on Her Arms or Invisible Children, immigrant who doesn't speak English, member of LHC-my point is I have NO IDEA who this person is.

But they are a part of my world. The world would go on turning without them, but in some aspect it would not be the same world. Everyone is here to decorate my world. To make it interesting, to intrigue and entertain me. In some way I do the same to others. Even if all this is happening subconsciously, it's happening. We all shape each other, like diamonds being sharpened by other diamonds.

I disagree with that statement I hid behind a few years ago. My body does decorate the world-other bodies decorate my world. I *want* color, life, differences, similarities in my world. I want people with tats and without tats in my world. I want shrimp eaters and shrimp haters in my world. I want religious or spiritual people in the world WITH people who are not, or how are we to discover what we believe in and what we don't? To figure out who we are, we need people. I am here to decorate the world, and so are you.